Author: admin

How do you feel when you are in the presence of someone you enjoy spending time with? It’s possible to forget the mundane everyday things; you are in that moment of time, the present, smiling, laughing together, sharing experiences, sharing the surroundings, just having a great time!

One of my friends and I took a walk one afternoon to Hampstead Heath in London, which happens to be a favourite place of mine.  It has open space, lakes, woodland, hills and great views across London. It was a beautiful, warm, sunny day, and as we walked, talked and laughed we could feel our stress fly away in the breeze. Life was sweet.

My friend had managed to find childcare in order to have some much needed chill out time. It was a refreshing and revitalising afternoon. We were free to talk honestly about our ups and downs, our success and failures. We could laugh at ourselves making a mess of things in our less than perfect lives. We thanked God for another day of life that we were blessed to see, and for the opportunity to have a friend to share with. It was like being high on life! What a buzz, outdoors, enjoying nature and friendship.

Every day may not always be like that. Sometimes things happen to disappoint us and discourage us, so we can easily forget those bright, happy days. However that is when it is really important to “call a friend”. At times our friends can be busy with their own lives and situation. When we call they may not be available to talk or meet up for a catch up. That’s why we have a special friend in Jesus, He is never too busy for us to talk to, and we can share our worries, fears, have a cry or laugh. I think Jesus wants us to feel comfortable in His presence. To let our hair down and speak from the heart, we have a friend in Him each and every day.

“You make known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand.” Psalm 16:11

Jesus can give us the joy we need to make our day rise above the challenges we are facing. I would encourage you to spend some time in his presence today, also reach out to someone else today. Brighten somebody’s day through a friendly call, text, or visit. Cultivate your friendships; invest time in your friends and family. We can all be a blessing to each other.

Be encouraged

One of my favourite poem cards is the one with the picture of footprints on the sand and the words explain how the person wonders where God was when they were experiencing so much trouble and heartache. God pointed out to them that only one set of footprints can be seen at that time because this was when God had carried them.

There have been times when I have felt unable to handle being single any longer, I wish it didn’t cause pain, but sometimes it does. I can’t get away from reminders that surround me. In my experience I find society to be so couples focused, which is great if you are a part of a couple, but not always great if you are not.

I wanted to have a baby one day, but being husbandless and a Christian woman it wouldn’t be a good idea for me to go down that road would it?

• I would be going against what God has clearly said should be the blueprint for having a family; marriage first before having children.   “… A man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.”  “ God blessed them and said to them “Be fruitful and increase in number…” Genesis 2:24, 1:28
• I would be going against my church beliefs, which are based on biblical teachings.
• I would be going against what I believe is the right thing to do.

However my hormones, feelings and emotions don’t really listen to all of that, and neither does the world I live in, whose values and beliefs advocate living however you want, as long as you’re not hurting anybody. Therefore, technically I can do what -ever I like, I am free to choose, but there are always consequences to live with. I know deep down I would not be happy if I didn’t do things God’s way. After all He does know a lot more than me, and ultimately wants the best life for me, which is why He gave those principles to live by.  To choose to get pregnant without being married would be causing me more heartache in the long run, and I don’t need more heartache and heart break, so there is no point going down that road! But I can’t say that it’s an easy decision to make.

It’s a difficult battle within, when I see pregnant women, cute lovely babies, see couples out with their families, when I hold my friends’ baby in my arms I get the baby blues. I have to keep rehearsing these words in my mind and hold back the tears: “My grace is sufficient for you, for my strength and power are made perfect in your weakness.” 2 Corinthians 12:9. When I am weak, God is strong for me, when I can’t take any more He provides the strength for me to bear it. When the clouds are dark, blocking out the sun He brings light into my heart. He reminds me that I am His child, that I am precious to Him, that He loves me with an everlasting love, and that when I fall down He will lift me up; that He is able to provide for all my needs.

Obviously His take on what I need and my opinion on what I think I need are not synchronised at the moment. I imagine that He is waiting, like the great Dad He is, for me to come to my senses and acknowledge that His way is the best way and stop moaning about my situation. I am trying, though it is hard to cope as a human.

I suppose that’s why He reminds me that His “Grace” and “Strength” is sufficient to help me in my weak times, which is pretty much all the time. I’m glad He’s there for me; He’s there for you too.

Be encouraged

“To the unmarried and the widows I say; it is good for them to stay unmarried as I am.”

 1 Corinthians 7:8.

I remember when I first read this message from Paul I thought he was crazy. I was most offended!  Because he obviously did not want a wife, I felt that he really did not understand what it was like being single and wanting to get married. He couldn’t be living in the real world that I inhabited. If it was possible I would have removed that portion of text out of the bible completely!!

However on reflection I realised that Paul did have a point to make about what I call singleness and busyness. “An unmarried woman or a virgin is concerned about the Lord’s affairs.” 1 Corinthians 7:34. Being single had allowed me to devote so much more time to other things:

I could help the Youth at church by doing programs, retreats, day trips.

I could help run community drama projects. I was more available to help my elderly neighbour, visit someone who was sick at home or in hospital. I had more opportunity to do good for others around me because my time was not split between a husband and children. Ok, Paul had a point…. It doesn’t mean I like it…it’s not easy, I would prefer to be married thanks!

But it’s better for me to accept that God ultimately knows what is best for me right now. So I ask God to give me a change of heart and make me more caring and compassionate when I feel frustrated and discouraged.

Yes, singleness does have the benefits of available time and I believe it has enabled me to use that time to make a positive difference; it has then become a “win win” situation. And I know that God is pleased when we do what we can to help others, that’s what Jesus did.  So while I’m waiting for my status to change, and I still hope that it will, I’m going to keep busy.

“Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.” Galatians 6:9

Be encouraged.

When we are in pain and it never seems to stop we are tempted to give up on God. We may be crying out to Him and our prayers seem to be going nowhere. It is at this time when the darkness seems overwhelming, that we must not give up. Through the tears, through the pain, hold on to God even more.

I remember a poster I had when I was a teenager. It was a favourite of mine, it showed a little kitten, it was so cute, holding onto a branch of a tree to stop itself from falling. The caption said something like – “Faith isn’t faith until it’s all you’re holding on.”  It’s either we hold onto God or we fall. He is the only solid “branch” that we have left when our life starts to unravel and fall apart.

Satan will use anything, any circumstance, any situation or person to discourage us so we lose our hold on God. But our Heavenly Father loves us. He is there even when we can’t see Him, He is there to comfort and show us that there is light at the end of the tunnel. He can turn any situation around and make it work out for our good. He is God. After all He created light out of darkness just by speaking it into existence, so there is nothing He cannot do!

It is the plan of the enemy to distract us, depress us, discourage us and make us despair to defeat us. But we must not give into our feelings, instead look to the light. The light of God’s word is a lamp for our feet and we can use the powerful words of God to defeat the enemy and encourage ourselves.

I believe many women (and men) who want to be married and are not may feel like giving up on their faith sometimes because God has not come through for them. When God doesn’t answer our prayers we may feel like that, it’s as if serving God, doing things His way is not working out for us as we thought it would. Please understand that only God knows why He does what He does in our lives. He doesn’t always explain Himself to us, but it’s at these times He wants us to TRUST HIM anyway, knowing that He loves us. God will heal our pain. He will strengthen us through the difficult times if we hold on to Him and don’t give up. He promised “I will never leave you or forsake you.” (Hebrews 13:5,6) so  lets believe Him and Be encouraged.

“For I know the plans I have for you”, declares the Lord. “Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11

Sometimes when things in our life are going wrong and our plans are falling apart we are tempted to believe that God has left us high and dry. We may also think that God is not hearing our pleas for help and guidance, because everything is a mess.  However, it is amazing what God can make out of a mess!

There was a point in my life when things looked like they were falling apart. My relationship ended and I was left heart broken. My Job, which I really liked, was being made a misery by a boss who was trying to off load their responsibilities onto my already overloaded plate.  I nearly walked out and left the job.

It was then that a friend suggested we go away for a last minute holiday; I really needed the break before I broke! We went to the travel agent after work and asked them to find us a cheap holiday to somewhere warm, and we sat there until they did. We finally took a holiday in Corfu, one of the Greek islands, and had a glorious time, relaxed, enjoyed the sun, beach and countryside. I also took time to talk to God about the situation I was in and asked for help. By the end of our stay I felt at peace and a sense that God had a plan for my life, though I didn’t know what lay ahead. I made a decision to stay in the job that I had while I would be looking for further clarity on my next step.

Immediately on my return I met someone who had started work on a temporary contract at the company, they recommended that I contact their agency who would be able to find me work. Around the same time one of my best friends suggested that I attend a fostering information event, as I had been interested in becoming a foster carer for some time but not acted on it.

Within two years my life underwent a dramatic transformation. I changed jobs and worked for the agency and while doing that I was assessed, completed fostering training, became an approved foster carer and had my first child, a little six year old girl. Wow I could hardly believe it! God had a plan for me all along, even though I couldn’t see it at the time, but out of the mess of my life, He was able to create a wonderful opportunity for me to give love and support to others in need. God gave me hope and a future; He had heard and answered my prayer.

Even though I am still single, he hasn’t answered that prayer yet for some reason, this experience has helped to strengthen my faith in believing that If God can reshape my career he can find me a husband.  Sometimes God has plans for us that are more of a priority for him than finding us a husband. Sometimes he has a mission and a purpose for us to accomplish for him which is essential for our character development. There are times that he wants us to concentrate our energies on reaching out to those around us with his love. He alone knows what plan he has for each of us, so we need to be open to his leading and willing to follow, even when it takes us away from the plans that we may have for our life. Ultimately He is our wiser Father and therefore his plans will always be better for us in the long run. Who can tell what adventures and new experiences await us. Have faith in God’s plan “to prosper you…to give you hope and a future.”

Be encouraged.

“Freely you have received, freely give.” Matthew 10:8

What would it take for you and I to make this world we live in a better place?

Is there anything we can do to make a difference?

I think if we all made a decision to give a little “something” it would help.

 It may be difficult to believe that anything we do can make a difference to the worlds’ problems. There seem to be so many things that are outside of our control – famines, wars, natural disasters, all causing devastation to families and homes; poverty, injustice and evil seems more prevalent than good. However I believe “Every little helps”, to quote a common phrase from a well know retailer. If we each try and “do a little something”, it can help make a difference to our families, extended families, local community, national and international charities, who knows … the ripples of good can go a long way around the globe!

We get so busy in our own lives that at times we forget the importance of doing the little things that can make a difference to those in need. Last Christmas I was asked to volunteer and help with a food drive for my local Food Bank. Just to give 2 hours of my time to ask customers at the local supermarket to give food items to help those individuals and families who didn’t have enough food. It was a great experience! I wrapped up warm in my layers of clothes and handed out the flyers, speaking to customers as the entered the store.

You know how it is… some people listen, others are busy and don’t have time, a few are a bit rude, but whatever the response, in the end I was happy that there was food deposited in the trolley that would help to feed people who needed it!

We may think that what we have to give isn’t much, but if we give it freely it can make a big difference to someone else’s life. There are many people around us who are going through difficult times, starving – some for food, some for affection, a little attention, or practical help that we can give. Charities are often looking for willing people to volunteer. It may not cost us anything at all, just a little bit of our time if we’re willing to give it.

 Let us consider ways we can help others. I think we could all give back. Do some good for the world we live in. It would do us all a world of good! (smile). Maybe we would smile more and be less stressed, as doing good for others is good for us too!!

Here is another little thing we can do… clear out our homes and wardrobes of all the clothes, shoes and household items we really don’t need any more and donate them to a local charity shop. Then the person who buys the items at a reasonable price is happy; the charity is happy to receive some funds from the sale and we are happier in a decluttered home!!

 A win, win, win situation! It’s just great to give!

Be encouraged.

“My eyes fail, looking for your promise; I say, “When will you comfort me?” … How long must your servant wait?” Psalm 119:82, 84.

Waiting can be a huge challenge, requiring a lot of patience. Singleness was fine in my twenties and early thirties… then I hit a stone wall in my mid-thirties. My plan of marriage and children didn’t seem to be working out. It was no longer fun being single. Dating, waiting, hoping, then things not changing was not an experience I had anticipated.

I think I had gotten into the habit of being the one in control of my life and having things go my way, on my timescale. I didn’t see anything wrong with that. Aren’t we supposed to have plans and goals to pursue?

I had completed my studies, been working in the career I wanted, had my home how I wanted it, was active in my local church – it followed that I would meet someone I loved, who would love me and we would get married and have a family. I had never considered myself to be a control addict, but when things don’t go to plan it flies in the face of the belief that WE are in control of everything. Even as a Christian we may say GOD is in control, but how many times do we really want to call the shots and have God just give his agreement. It’s humbling to wait on God to take action in our situation.

 I am encouraged to find in the bible that David didn’t seem to have a great time waiting either, as the bible text above states “How long?” was his big question, and I can identify with that. David had been anointed by the prophet Samuel to be the next King of Israel        (1 Samuel 16:1, 12, 13), but yet despite him being a giant slayer this promise had not materialised into reality. His reality instead was running as a fugitive, commentators say for about 15 years, trying to escape the death threat of King Saul. This could not have been an easy wait, living with constant upheaval, having to find somewhere to shelter, find food to survive, not only for him but also for his men and the families who supported him.   It’s easier to trust God when things work out on a timescale and in a way that we consider manageable, but what happens when it doesn’t? Do we question Gods love for us? Do we still trust God or do we take matters into our own hands?

David was still on the run when Saul came into the same cave that he was hiding but Saul was unaware of David’s presence. What a great opportunity to end things right there! David’s men said,” This is the day the Lord spoke of when he said to you,  ”I will give your enemy into your hands for you to deal with as you wish.” 1 Samuel 24:4. To his men it looked like God was working things out in David’s favour. It seemed like a good idea to kill Saul, however David knew and trusted God, his personal relationship with the Lord enabled  him to say; “The Lord forbid that I should do such a thing to my master, the Lord’s anointed, or lift my hand against him.” 1 Samuel 24:6. He would not harm the King, even though he was making his life a misery, nor would he allow his men to kill Saul. He proved to be the better man by continuing to wait on God to sort things out in his way and in his time. David later said to Saul,” May the Lord Judge between you and me. And may the Lord avenge the wrongs you have done to me, but my hand will not touch you.” 1 Samuel 24:12.

Saul eventually came to a sticky end, wounded in war by his enemies he fell on his own sword and took his own life, (1 Samuel 31:4). David continued to be faithful to God and was made King of Judah and Israel;

“David was thirty years old when he became King, and he reigned for forty years.” 2 Samuel 5:4. David was not guilty of taking matters into his own hands and killing Saul, instead he had waited on Gods plan to unfold.

As a single person we may feel we are” in a rock and a hard place” it is not easy to wait on God. We can think “How long must I wait?” why is God taking so long to do something about my situation.  It may appear better to work things out in a way that seems best to us. But God would like us to trust him even when we don’t understand him. It may sound crazy, but sometimes HOW God does things doesn’t make sense to us, we just can’t understand it! But he does have a good plan for our lives and at times, like David, we have to wait a while before He works things out for us. We will be happy with the result, but we need to be patient, humbly allow him to be in control, and wait for his timing because he is never too late.

Be encouraged.